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Day... 35? Something I need to tell you

Hey guys...


My last post revealed that I was going through some stuff... it's never easy but it does pass. Throughout the course of the week, I was guided through some heavy traumas and then I was guided to make a video. To reveal what happened in my childhood. So that's what I did today.


Making the video wasn't hard. I worked through my abusive childhood for years and was able to come out of it with lessons and peace (for the most part) in my heart about what happened. The hard part was posting it on YouTube and seeing that it was live, and now anyone can watch it. I'm scared of anyone in my family to watch it and to shame me for it, or to invalidate what happened. I am choosing not to share this video on social media because of this, but I needed to publicize what happened to me and to put light on the situation.


To me, turning a trauma, a dark piece of myself to light means to share it openly and honestly to the public. A lot of what I shared in the video, I didn't tell anyone else. Not friends, not relatives, not teachers or counselors. It's been living inside of me and it is time to let it go and release it to the world. My childhood was the darkest time of my life and was so traumatic. But I turned out alright.


I had a tarot reading yesterday that revealed I was holding onto something, clutching it to my chest and that was like kinking the hose to abundance in my life and the dreams and goals I want to achieve. Right away when I heard this, I knew it had to do with music and my dad. And I knew what I had to do. The great reveal.


The video is 2 hours long, so long, and I don't expect anyone to watch it all the way through. But it is real, it is what I remember, and it's my story.


When I made the video, it was so clear to me that music, specifically piano, is my gift that I need to share with the world. I need to let this stuff go and let it pass so I can move forward and share that gift. I have trauma tied to piano, and every time I play it is just pure sorrow in my heart. I hope I can work through this so I can share the gift with you all.


Thanks for being here, thanks for being patient, and thanks for being a safe audience to share some of this with. It is important for me to have a safe space to share trauma and to help others through theirs, and I just hope I was able to create it here.


Sending you guys lots of love and light,


Ashley


If you want to see the video, go here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrCYkC9BE2E

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